Loves Me, Loves Me Not? 8 Signs That a Man is Using You

When we’re in love, we tend to see the world through rose-colored glasses and forgive our partner for things that would normally be unacceptable in everyday life.

When we’re in love, we tend to see the world through rose-colored glasses and forgive our partner for things that would normally be unacceptable in everyday life. We justify his actions, overlook his flaws, and believe every word he says. However, sometimes a relationship starts to unfold differently than we hoped, and the man, sensing our attention, begins to use us for his own benefit. To avoid falling into this trap, it’s important to recognize the signs early that your partner isn’t caring for you, but simply using you.

Indifference to Your Feelings

When you open up to your man, share your worries, or talk about your problems, he should support you and listen. However, if instead, you hear that you're "nagging" or "draining his energy," that’s a clear sign that he’s not interested in your emotions. A man who truly loves you will always be there during tough times and won’t neglect your feelings. If that’s not happening, you should think carefully about his true intentions.

He’s Always “Busy”

He disappears for several days, ignores your calls and messages, and then comes back claiming he simply didn’t have time. Of course, everyone has moments when they need to focus on work or other tasks, but if he truly cares, he can always find a few minutes to send at least a couple of words. If your man only reaches out when it’s convenient for him, that’s a red flag. He likely doesn’t see you as a priority.

Lack of Thoughtful Gestures

A loving man strives to make his woman happy—whether through compliments, small surprises, or shared moments. If you’re not receiving flowers just because, being invited on dates, or seeing any effort to bring you joy, it’s unlikely that your relationship will develop in a healthy direction. Love without thoughtful gestures eventually turns into routine, and it’s something to think about.

He Doesn’t Care Who You Really Are

If he forgets what you like, doesn’t remember important moments to you, and doesn’t try to get to know you better, it may be a sign that he doesn’t care about your personality. A man who isn’t interested in your preferences, desires, and dreams is unlikely to invest in the relationship to make you happy.

Constant Excuses

If he’s always coming up with excuses not to keep his promises—whether it’s not showing up for a meeting, not helping you, or not being there for you in tough times—it’s concerning. True love shows itself through actions, not empty words. A man who values you will always find the time and ways to support you without looking for excuses.

Secrecy

Relationships based on trust are always open. If your man isn’t ready to introduce you to his friends or family, avoid joint celebrations, and keeps important events in his life to himself, it means he doesn’t see you as part of his future. He’s simply not ready to take the relationship to the next level.

Prioritizing a Relationship Without Commitments

If he constantly says that he doesn’t want to get married or doesn’t see the point in commitments, then perhaps, for him, relationships are just a way to have fun without attachment. Such a man will be with you as long as it suits him, but as soon as a better option appears, he’ll leave without hesitation because nothing is holding him back.

Regular Manipulation

Manipulation is common among people who aren’t ready for a healthy relationship. A man who plays emotional games, manipulates you, makes you feel guilty, or dependent on him doesn’t deserve your trust. If such manipulation becomes part of your communication, don’t hesitate to talk to him about how you feel. But if he ignores your concerns and blames you, that’s a sign it’s time to end the relationship.