Sex Toys: Companion, Rival, or Mediator?

Picture the scene: evening, soft light in the bedroom, and someone shyly says, “What if we try something new?” For many, sex toys can feel awkward to talk about—sometimes even embarrassing. Yet in practice, these “little helpers” can be allies, not enemies, in your intimate life.

Picture the scene: evening, soft light in the bedroom, and someone shyly says, “What if we try something new?” For many, sex toys can feel awkward to talk about—sometimes even embarrassing. Yet in practice, these “little helpers” can be allies, not enemies, in your intimate life.

A psychologist-sexologist explains: a sex toy is not a substitute for your partner but an additional “ingredient,” like spices in a favorite dish. If there is trust and a willingness to explore, a toy can liven up routine, open new sensations, and help you understand yourself and your partner better.

Pros and Cons of Sex Toys

Toys bring novelty. Over time, sex can become routine, but adding a device can refresh familiar patterns. They help you explore your body, discover what feels good, and, in some cases, even have medical benefits—such as aiding reduced sensitivity or difficulty reaching orgasm (always after consulting a doctor).

There are also drawbacks. A partner may feel “not enough” if a toy provides pleasure faster or more intensely. Sometimes, people rely solely on the device and lose interest in partner interaction. If the decision to use a toy is made without dialogue, it can replace communication rather than enhance intimacy.

How to Talk About Desires

The main rule: honesty and trust. You can start with:

“I feel really good with you. I want to share my fantasies because I trust you.”
“Let’s talk about what could be pleasurable for both of us.”
Discussion helps reduce tension, avoid guilt or shame, and make the experience a shared one.

Choosing a Sex Toy

The formula is simple: safety, comfort, purpose. Materials should be certified (silicone, glass, metal), shapes and design comfortable and aesthetically pleasing, and the choice guided by the desire to stimulate, diversify, or explore new aspects of intimacy. When used together, the partner’s preferences should be considered.

If Your Partner Isn’t Ready

Do not turn a toy into a test of love or “modernity.” Approach the topic gently, suggesting small steps: browse a catalog together or choose a simple model. If the partner refuses outright, respect their decision—the topic can be revisited later.

Psychological Barriers

Shame, fear of comparison, anxiety about losing control—these are common reasons for resistance. The good news: all of this can be gradually overcome. First talk, then handle the toy in the store, and finally try a simple model without commitment.

Toy as Ally, Not Enemy

If used for play, experimentation, and pleasure, a toy becomes an ally. If it replaces dialogue or hides unspoken issues, it can become an enemy. A mechanical stimulator can never replace a real person, emotional closeness, or the ability to listen to each other.

Sex Toys and Artificial Intelligence

Modern “smart” toys with robotic features and AI cannot replace real communication. They provide physical pleasure but not emotions or the warmth of a real partner.