7 Ways to Get in the Mood for Sex When You're Just Not Feeling It

We’ve all seen scenes in movies or books where the characters literally tear each other’s clothes off the moment they step into the bedroom. Unfortunately, real life rarely works like that. Work, responsibilities, kids, fatigue — and suddenly it’s evening and the desire for sex has vanished. And that’s perfectly normal.

But if you want to reignite the spark and try to get in the mood for intimacy, here are some proven methods that really work.

Take Care of Yourself

Often, a lack of desire is caused by fatigue or emotional burnout. Try to rest more, exercise, or at least relax and take time for yourself. Healthy eating, cutting back on alcohol, and quitting smoking can also have a positive effect on your libido.

Add Something New

Boredom kills desire. Bring something unusual into your sex life: toys, role-playing, or even a change of scenery. Even a short weekend in a cozy hotel can help reignite the spark. If you and your partner make wish lists and share them, it strengthens your emotional connection and makes it easier to get in the mood for sex.

Schedule Time for Intimacy

Yes, it sounds cliché, but setting aside time for sex in advance can be a lifesaver. You can prepare your body and mind, free from other obligations, and fully focus on your partner.

Manage Stress

Stress is the number one enemy of libido. Exercise, meditation, breathing techniques, and getting enough sleep can help reduce tension. Find your own way to relax and make it a regular habit.

Remember What Turns You On

Think about what used to excite you and share it with your partner. Flirting over messages, sexting, reading or watching erotic content together — all of this can help stimulate desire.

Give Yourself Pleasure

Masturbation is an effective way to “warm up” when you’re not in the mood. You know your body better than anyone else, so why not explore it? You can also try mutual masturbation with your partner — it’s a great way to strengthen intimacy.