7 Horrible Ways to Break Up (That You Should Avoid)

Breakups are painful. Even if the decision has been a long time coming, even if you think you're ready, even if it’s a step toward a better life. But there are ways to make this process even worse—not just for your partner, but for yourself too.

Unless you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship, where leaving by any means is necessary, it’s important to show respect for the past, yourself, and the other person. Here are 7 mistakes to avoid at all costs.

Ghosting

This is, of course, the easiest option: stop answering calls, delete them from social media, block them everywhere, and act like they never existed.

But for the person left behind with no explanation, this is a nightmare. The uncertainty leads to the worst thoughts: "Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?"

If you’re safe and simply want to end things, the least you can do is explain yourself. Don’t ghost. Be an adult.

Breaking Up Over Text or a Phone Call

Sending a message that says “We need to break up” is a low blow.

Yes, it’s easy to hide behind a screen, but the person whose heart you’re about to break deserves at least a face-to-face conversation.

Breaking up in person allows both people to ask questions, express their feelings, and get closure without the added frustration of being left with unanswered questions.

Asking Someone Else to Do It for You

This is acceptable only in kindergarten, when your friend tells your crush, "Emily doesn’t want to be your girlfriend anymore."

But if you’re an adult, passing the responsibility to a friend or mutual acquaintance is just cowardly. You built the relationship yourself—so end it yourself.

Making It Public

Breaking up at a café, a party, or in front of friends is brutal.

The person being dumped is not only dealing with heartbreak, but also forced to keep their emotions in check in front of an audience.

People react to breakups differently—some cry, some go into shock, some get angry. Don’t turn a personal moment into public humiliation.

Being a Jerk So They Break Up With You

Some people don’t have the courage to break up, so they take the passive-aggressive route: they become distant, rude, dismissive, or completely uninterested. The goal? To make the other person leave first.

But this is just cruel. You’re not just ending the relationship—you’re prolonging someone’s suffering. If you know you want to break up, be honest and say it directly.

Keeping Them on a Leash

You’ve broken up, but… you keep showing up in their life: texting, reminiscing about the good times, acting jealous, stopping them from moving on.

Why? So they don’t forget about you? So you have a backup option?

If you know you don’t want to get back together, give them space. It’s the right thing to do.

Blaming Them for Everything

Breakups are rarely 100% one person’s fault. Of course, it’s tempting to ease your own guilt by saying "It’s all your fault," "You ruined everything," "I was miserable because of you."

But that’s manipulation. Relationships involve two people, and so do breakups. Don’t turn the end of a story into a battlefield.