A Woman’s "Withering Flower" or Sexual Myths People Still Believe

Sexuality is about focusing on your own desires, comfort, and health, not on societal stereotypes

Unfortunately, proper sex education in youth is a rare thing. Many people formed their understanding of sex through unreliable sources: jokes, stories from friends, scenes from movies, or pornography. While some of this information turned out to be true, a lot of it is simply myths. Let’s debunk the most common ones.

The Vagina “Stretches” or “Wears Out” with Multiple Partners

No, the vagina does not “wear out” from the number of sexual partners. This myth stems from the desire to control women’s sexuality. The vagina is an elastic organ that expands during arousal and returns to its original state afterward. The only thing that can significantly affect its size is childbirth. Even then, the vagina recovers naturally or with the help of exercises.

First Penetrative Sex Is Always Painful and Bloody

This is not always the case. Pain and bleeding may occur for several reasons: muscle spasms, lack of lubrication, nervousness, or a short foreplay session. An inexperienced or rough partner can also contribute to discomfort.

The hymen might tear during first-time intercourse, but it doesn’t always cause pain or bleeding. Moreover, the hymen can stretch or tear from physical activities like sports, cycling, or using tampons.

Sex Is Only About Penetration

The so-called coital imperative suggests that only penetrative sex is considered “real” sex. However, sexual practices are far more diverse. They can include:

Masturbation
Oral and anal sex
Sexting and virtual sex
Petting and using sex toys
The most important thing is mutual consent and enjoyment, not following any predefined rules.

Sex Must Always End with an Orgasm

Not necessarily. Focusing too much on achieving an orgasm can ruin the experience. Sometimes the process itself is enjoyable without an orgasm. Orgasms also come in different forms: they can be physiological, mental, or even occur during sleep. The key is to enjoy the moment and listen to your desires.

Good Sex Has to Be Long

The duration of sex is highly individual. Long sexual encounters are not always enjoyable and can become exhausting. Research suggests that the average duration of penetration is about 7 minutes, while anything over 30 minutes is considered too long by many experts.

Rather than focusing on the clock, couples should prioritize what feels good to both partners at the moment.

STIs Are Only Transmitted through Penetrative Sex

This is false. Many sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can spread during oral or anal sex or even through skin contact. For example, human papillomavirus (HPV) can spread through skin-to-skin contact, and hepatitis B can be transmitted through blood or bodily fluids.

To stay safe, it's important to exchange STI test results with your partner, get vaccinated, use condoms and dental dams, and avoid injuries to the skin and mucous membranes.

Conclusion

Sexuality is about focusing on your own desires, comfort, and health, not on societal stereotypes. Debunking myths helps eliminate unnecessary shame and makes intimate life healthier and more enjoyable for everyone.