How to Ask for Consent and Make It Incredibly Sexy

Consent in sex is not only about respect and safety but also about the opportunity to make your relationship more intimate and exciting.

Consent in sex is not only about respect and safety but also about the opportunity to make your relationship more intimate and exciting. Unfortunately, even in 2024, there are still significant gaps in sexual education. A Tinder study revealed that only 38% of Gen Z received comprehensive knowledge about consent, while more than half learned about it from social media.

To eliminate awkwardness and add a spark to the process, we turned to an expert in this field — ethical porn director and founder of Sssh.com, Angie Rowntree. She shared her best ideas on how to turn consent discussions into part of your intimate play.

Use Your Voice as a Tool for Seduction

Forget dry formalities — it’s all about the tone. “In a seductive whisper, with a touch of raspiness, say something like: ‘I want to be inside you’ or ‘I want you inside me.’ This not only sounds enticing but also creates space for your partner to give an honest response: ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ From there, everything can unfold naturally,” Angie advises.

Turn Consent into a Game

Games are always fun, and in the bedroom, they can be incredibly arousing. Try saying: ‘Tell me what you want,’ and then follow through. This simple practice can quickly evolve into a dirty talk session that leads to action.

Angie also suggests experimenting with dominance and submission games. For example, ask your partner to describe exactly where and how they want to be touched. This not only ensures consent but also unveils new dimensions of pleasure.

Play “Hot and Cold”

Bring a childhood game into your adult adventures! One partner thinks of a desire, and the other tries to guess it using just their fingers. ‘Hot’ and ‘cold’ will guide your partner to the right area or action.

To make the game even more exciting, blindfold your partner or use a soft scarf. When they find the right spot, a simple ‘yes’ can signal that it’s time to take things further.

Fantasize Together

Discussing fantasies is not only a way to get to know each other better but also an opportunity to add fire to the relationship. Want to act out a scenario about a strict librarian and a noisy visitor? Or play the role of a burglar caught in a police officer’s house?

Before starting, discuss the details: what’s allowed and what’s not. And be sure to agree on a safe word to stop the game if someone feels uncomfortable.

Try the Game “May I?”

This adaptation of the childhood game “Mother, May I?” is perfect for the bedroom. One partner asks questions like: “May I kiss your neck?” while the other either gives permission or suggests an alternative: “No, but you can kiss my shoulders.”

Each action is negotiated separately, which not only ensures comfort but also builds anticipation and desire.

Sexual consent is an art you can turn into an exciting ritual. It builds trust, adds passion, and helps you and your partner connect on a new level. Make it part of your intimate life, and you’ll be surprised at how much it can transform your relationship.