Surviving a Toxic Person: A Guide to Protecting Yourself

Discovering that a toxic person is close to you is like being trapped in a cage with a predator. A manipulative mother, a tyrannical boss, a narcissistic husband — they all drain your life energy, leaving emptiness and exhaustion behind. You want to leave, but circumstances often make it difficult: financial dependence, small children, lack of housing or qualifications. What do you do when “escaping” seems impossible?

The answer is simple: **save your resources, strengthen your position, and prepare to leave when it becomes possible**.

The Key to Survival — Preserving Your Resources

Resources aren’t just money. They include your health, mental stability, relationships, knowledge, and skills. The toxic person will try to deplete them. Your task is to protect and build them.

How to Build Your Resources:

Sleep

7–8 hours of sleep is the minimum. Lack of sleep reduces cognitive function, makes you more vulnerable to manipulation, and increases stress. If possible, include a short daytime nap.

Nutrition

Even on a limited budget, try to eat healthily. Fast carbs increase fatigue and irritability. Vitamins and minerals are your allies in managing stress.

Physical Activity

Even 15 minutes outdoors reduces stress and boosts your mood. Accessible options include walking, yoga, gymnastics, and swimming.

Time for Doing Nothing

Yes, truly doing nothing — not just “resting.” Two hours a day is enough to reflect on your needs and emotions. Without this, you risk emotional burnout.

Personal Values

Knowing yourself is your protection. Be clear about what suits you and what doesn’t. Time for doing nothing helps you track your emotions and understand your boundaries.

Rescue Plan

Yes, many were waiting for this point. Anyone near a toxic person often doesn’t know how to leave. Even if the idea seems simple, it’s important to understand **how to practically execute your escape**.

Discuss your plans with friends, family, and lawyers.
Read relevant information and analyze your options.
If you need to move, research the housing market and learn essential household skills.
Change jobs — search for openings and send applications.

Additional income — part-time work, freelance, online courses. Even a small income can be the key to freedom.

What Drains Your Resources

Constant Conflicts

Avoid direct confrontations unless life depends on it. Stay calm and don’t fall for provocations.

Discussing Everything with the Toxic Person

Any openness can be used against you. Talk about your feelings only with those who support and understand you.

Facade Communication

Use positive phrasing: Correct response: “Yes, I’m taking care of it now” or “I planned to do it in two hours, now I’m doing it.” Incorrect response: “No, you know how busy I am…” — this invites criticism and devaluation.

Self-Criticism

Don’t punish yourself for weaknesses. Did you yell? That’s okay. Ate too much? That’s okay. You were defending yourself.

Trying to Change the Toxic Person

It won’t work. Focus on preserving your resources.

Sacrifice and Overtrust

Don’t sacrifice your interests or share your plans with the toxic person. This information can be used against you.