What a Woman Should Let Go of by 40 to Live a Lighter and Happier Life

It seems that by the age of 40, a woman should be perfect in every way: successful in her career, confident, able to solve any life challenges, maintain harmonious relationships, and, of course, continuously improve in everything. But what if, in reality, it’s much more important at this age to free yourself from unnecessary baggage? We suggest exploring what to let go of in order to make your life lighter and happier.

From Hyper-Responsibility and the Illusion of Controlling the World

We all know women who try to be everything for everyone: for their husband—support and strength, for their children—educator and friend, for their parents—a caring helper, for their colleagues—the all-round expert. This hyper-responsibility, the desire to solve every problem without taking time to rest, can lead to exhaustion. Yes, each of us is responsible for our own actions, but it’s important to understand that the world doesn’t always respond to our control. Sometimes, it’s necessary to simply let go and accept that not everything in life depends only on us. And why try to control everything? It’s time to learn to let go and enjoy what you have.

From Constantly Justifying Yourself to Others

Women often feel they have to justify every action: their appearance, their choice of profession, their relationship with their partner, their lack of a perfect figure, or their decision not to follow societal expectations. By the age of 40, it’s important to realize: you don’t need to justify yourself for who you are. You have the right to be yourself, without worrying about other people’s stereotypes and standards. Life is too short to waste on the expectations of others. Stop apologizing for not meeting others' ideas of "what should be." No one should have to justify their existence.

From the Hope of Changing Someone

The dream of changing someone is an endless process that usually leads to disappointment. We often think that if we put effort into changing our partner, friend, or even our parents, everything will improve. But in reality, we can only change ourselves. And middle age is the perfect time to stop trying to change others. If no changes have occurred by the age of 40, it’s time to realize: this is not your fight. It’s better to redirect your energy to your own development and to the satisfaction of seeing yourself change.

From Trying to Live in the Past

Memories of past love stories, successes, and travels can be comforting, but we shouldn’t get stuck in what was. By 40, it’s important to let go of the past and live in the here and now. Each stage of life brings something unique. The coach I mentioned earlier said: “You won’t change until you let go of the past.” And that’s true. If we keep looking back and miss the “now,” we can’t move forward. Life continues, and we need to find happiness in what’s happening today.

From Postponing Dreams for Later

So, you’re 40. What now? You still have plenty of energy to make your dreams a reality—dreams you’ve been postponing. Time doesn’t stop, and the sooner you start doing what you’ve been dreaming of, the better. Writing a book, starting a blog, traveling, meeting new people—all of this is possible, and there’s no reason to put your dreams on hold. The most important thing is not to be afraid, even if the outcome isn’t exactly what you expected. Don’t let fear paralyze you—this is the moment to act.

From Excessive Worry About the “Flaws” of Others

Everyone has their own weaknesses and flaws, but by 40, it’s time to stop making them a reason for concern. Your partner might not be perfect, your colleagues may not be the best, and your family members don’t always meet your expectations. But that’s no reason to spend your life worrying about the “flaws” of others. Accepting people as they are is the path to inner peace. Life becomes much easier when you stop trying to change others and start working on yourself.

From Guilt Over Your Own Choices

There are no right or wrong decisions—there’s only your experience. Every decision you made led to a certain outcome. And if something didn’t go as planned, that’s no reason to blame yourself. On the contrary, it’s a valuable lesson that helps you become wiser. By the time you’re 40, you already know that life won’t always meet your expectations, and that’s okay.

So, dear women, by the time you reach 40, it’s important not only to learn to appreciate yourself but also to free yourself from many unnecessary things: hyper-responsibility, worrying about others’ expectations, the hope of changing people, and fear of the future. Free yourself from everything that prevents you from living a fulfilling life and enjoy this time. Your 40s are just the beginning of a new chapter, filled with possibilities and joy.