Together, but apart: Is being in a relationship no longer trendy?

Have you noticed how on social media, photos are increasingly posted where a partner’s face is blurred, shoulders cropped, and next to you is just “someone”? Coffee cups, books, sunsets—but no sign of your love. It seems that being publicly in a relationship has become a kind of social taboo. Why?

We hide because we’re afraid

Sometimes, it’s simply “digital etiquette”: not everyone wants to share their private life online. But behind this lies a deeper fear—the fear of failure.

If you openly “claim” someone and the relationship falls apart, the pain becomes public. You’re not just experiencing a breakup; you become the person who “didn’t make it,” and the world looks on with judgment or quiet pity: “We told you so.”

This turns private life into a minefield. Every move is calculated: “Should I post this photo, update my status, show my feelings?”

Cynicism as protection

In a time when traditional relationships seem doomed, showing genuine attachment can feel naive. Sex without commitment becomes not just pleasure, but a protective strategy: physical closeness without the risk of emotional dependence.

Yet behind this safety lies loneliness. Cynicism and jokes about “toxic men” become a shield that protects from pain but prevents living a real love story.

“We’re just seeing each other”—a convenient escape

Rejecting labels like “he’s mine” or “she’s mine” is a way to keep space in case of failure. On the other hand, publicly showing happiness is often an attempt to hide.

Posting couple photos isn’t so much about joy as it is about signaling: “Look, I’m doing fine; I’m not alone.” To the audience, this reads as a social masquerade—identity dissolves into the role of the partner, and instead of envy, boredom or irritation arises.

Why we fear showing love

Often, this stems from a narcissistic wound: admitting you need something makes you vulnerable. It feels safer to act as if you need nothing, leave first, or avoid closeness altogether.

But in trying to protect ourselves, we lose the true depth of a relationship. Relationships without risk or emotional merging aren’t real—they’re staged.

How to build relationships in a paradoxical reality

Not wanting to make a relationship public is normal. Reasons can vary: fear of judgment, loss of control over perception on social media, personal boundaries and values. What matters is understanding that the decision to post photos or not is your personal choice.

If your partner asks to share moments together, dialogue is key. For example: “I’m not comfortable with this, but let’s talk about what’s important to you.” Listening and considering your partner’s wishes while respecting your own boundaries is essential for a healthy relationship.

First step—acknowledge the fear

The fear of ridicule or rejection is real. Recognizing it is the first step. The second step is understanding that behind this fear often lies a reluctance to grow up and take responsibility for your choices and mistakes. Only by working on this yourself or with a psychologist can you experience true intimacy and fully enjoy the relationship.