The Absence of "Third Spaces": Are They Driving Singles to Seek Love More Intensely?

n 2024, a new trend emerged in the world of social media—the concept of "third spaces," which quickly gained popularity, especially among young people on TikTok.

In 2024, a new trend emerged in the world of social media—the concept of "third spaces," which quickly gained popularity, especially among young people on TikTok. By the end of the year, psychologists began discussing more frequently how the lack of such spaces might explain why singles feel so vulnerable and desperate in their search for love. But what exactly are "third spaces," and why does their absence impact our emotional well-being?

What Are "Third Spaces"?

Dr. Mark Travers, psychologist and author of the study, explains that "third spaces" are places outside of home and work where people can easily interact and find like-minded individuals. This includes cafes, Friday night parties, sports clubs, or even hanging out with friends. These are places where we are not required to work or fulfill any social roles, but simply enjoy being together.

"These spaces create a sense of belonging and community, which is extremely important for mental health," says Travers. Research confirms that such places help us reduce stress and feel like part of something greater than just an individual in a vast world.

The Problem of Missing Third Spaces

However, with the rise of online spaces where people can comfortably stay behind screens, real life increasingly takes a back seat. Today, millions of people are living more and more in virtual "safety cocoons," while real-world interactions and "third spaces" are fading into the background.

As a result, many singles start to place excessive importance on their romantic relationships, seeing them as their only or primary source of emotional comfort. This is understandable because, when real social connections are lacking, we seek to fill that void.

Why Is This Dangerous?

Dr. Travers argues that an over-reliance on relationships, where someone sees their partner as their only refuge, can lead to unhealthy attachments and emotional burnout. It’s the familiar feeling of disappointment when a first date doesn’t live up to expectations, or when a relationship that was supposed to bring happiness only leaves us feeling more alone. In these moments, we realize how important it is to not only have support from a partner but also to find balance without losing our identity and independence.

Third spaces are places where we can be ourselves, enjoy simple moments, and not seek refuge in someone else’s arms.

How to Restore Balance?

It’s time to remind ourselves of the value of real-world connections. Don’t be afraid to step outside your usual circles. Try a yoga class, meet new people at a party, or simply sit in a café where no one interrupts you. By listening to yourself, you’ll learn to appreciate what makes you happy without tying it to romantic relationships.

It’s important to remember that love and communication are not just about finding a partner, but about the ability to find joy in your own company and among people who support and understand you.

So, dear readers, the next time you feel that your connection with your partner is becoming your only source of happiness, remember that you need to find other sources of joy as well. Let "third spaces" become the place where you can recharge and find inspiration for real, harmonious relationships.